It’s important to me that you get a real sense of who I am because if you’re looking for personal guidance, finding your perfect fit person is essential… and you can’t do that if you know nothing about them.
Here’s where I shed a few layers…
Why Life Engineer?
Well… my degree is in electronic engineering.
I know. It seemed like a good idea in the late 1980s. (Like many things from the 80s!!)
I am the sort of person who will take mechanical or electrical things apart if they’re not working. I blame it on playing with lots of technical Lego as a child, I loved all the motors and moving parts, still do when I get the opportunity.
It’s my instinct to figure out how things are put together and what’s causing the problem… repair or replace bits where necessary, then put it all back together again.
An engineer’s brain.
But I am also the sort of person whose favourite spot is a beautiful Reading Seat in a woodland park, who couldn’t exist in a world without real paper books, poetry and music, who is quite happy to park her engineer’s brain and embrace the woo-woo hippy chick brain on the flipside and who believes that we are part of a grander Universal scheme of things.
When you meld these two together you get someone who can analyse a life situation systematically and find the way forward while also being gently empathetic and open to using the imagination to create what is possible.
Like anyone, I’ve had my fair share of downs as well as ups.
But I’m a glass half-full person, an attitude that has served me well as I’ve navigated the emotional challenges of my life so far: a cancelled wedding, a relationship ending when I was three months pregnant, single motherhood, losing my job, having the privilege of helping my Mum care for my Dad in the final days of his battle with cancer… all experiences which have taught me that you are always, always stronger than you think, and that humour can be found in even the darkest of places.
I’ve always been fiercely independent… useful, seeing as I’ve raised my amazing son alone since the day he was born.
He is the star that lights up my world and I couldn’t be more proud of the young man he is becoming.
I hope I’m teaching him all the right things.
I’m an introvert and quite content with the peace and quiet of my own company. But there is also a rebellious performance streak that runs through me… a sniff of an opportunity involving a microphone and I’m there! I get a kick out of public speaking, I’m part of a choir and love to sing solos and I’ve had lots of fun over the years taking part in various amateur dramatic productions.
I know from experience how it feels to want more from life than you’re getting, not because your current life is a complete disaster, but that it’s just not as colourful, vibrant and stimulating as you know it could be.
I know what it feels like to cry exhausted tears of frustration on a regular basis when you desire change but you can’t just drop everything and start afresh.
Ohhh yes… been there.
There were clues to the path I should have been on all over the place.
I worked in industry for a couple of years after I graduated, but the job was suffocating me. I was one of the teeth on one of the tiniest cogs in a big national machine, unable to make a difference.
One day, I got the train in to work and simply couldn’t bring myself to get off it. I stayed on that train and cried as it went back the way it came, and went home. I’d never done anything like that before but I had such an overwhelming sense of being in completely the wrong place, doing a job that left no room for any kind of creativity, that some kind of automatic response took over. I just couldn’t do it anymore. So despite being selected as one of only 25 people nationally for a management training scheme… I quit.
Looking back I can see that this was when the seed for needing to be on purpose was sown but it took me another 25 years to recognise it for what it was. During those years I spent time in the music industry, floristry and entrepreneurship… all the while devouring libraries of books on psychology, motivation, mindset and wellbeing (duh… the biggest clue of all)!
Recognise this? “I feel so stuck… I don’t really know what I can do to change things… and I’m tired and I don’t have the time or the energy to overhaul my life… and… actually… I’m scared that I’ve just got it all wrong and I can’t do anything about it…“
That was me as a struggling single mum, with a business my heart wasn’t in, sliding into debt.
It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I put some proper time and effort into really getting down to the nitty gritty of what I actually wanted, what lights me up and, crucially, WHY.
Which is what brought me to where I am today… in alignment with who I am and walking a path that feels so right beneath my feet.
But I couldn’t do what I do now without having had all the experiences that make me who I am, so don’t ever think any of your time has been wasted.
If you were to ask me what makes my soul sing, I would tell you that I love autumn, my old piano even though it will probably never be in tune again, candlelight, feeding friends, dogs, red wine in winter, cold white wine in summer, Christmas, singing, visiting new places even if they’re close to home, kitchen gardens, my grey hair (especially with red streaks in it), old buildings and watching people who are clearly in their element, fulfilling their potential and being the best that they can be.
I believe that being who you’re expected to be rather than who you actually are will suck your soul dry.
I believe that the life you desire is just waiting for you to have the courage to live it.
I believe that changing how you think can change your life.
And I love people who are brave enough to want to create a better life for themselves and who have the courage to take the first step.