What are you settling for?

by Feb 7, 2018Happiness, Making changes

What are you settling for? 

Do you know what I mean? Those things that you put up with because, well, to do something about them would take too much effort. You worry that even though there are plenty of things you don’t like about the situation there are enough that you do like and not knowing what the alternative is scares you.

If you were to take a good look around your life I bet you’d find all sorts of things that you’re settling for. From small things like always being the one to put the rubbish out, to much bigger things like the job you do, or, gulp, the relationship you’re in.

Things that you could change, but…

Lives are busier now than they’ve ever been. There is also more social pressure on us now than there has ever been due to the interconnectedness of the world.

It’s all overwhelming.

Change takes energy. Inertia is the path of least resistance.

When you’re tired it’s so much easier just to put up with what is… and convince yourself that it’s not so bad, it could be worse.

You don’t take much convincing.

But what is that saying about your view of yourself?

And more than that, what is it saying to the rest of the world about your self-worth? If you don’t see yourself as worthy of better the rest of the world won’t either.

Complaining about the situation is a hat tip towards your view of yourself – you kinda know that you want things to be different because you deserve it. If you’re complaining to the perpetrator then at least that is a way to open dialogue about it. (Although not necessarily the most positive way to approach it!)

If you’re complaining to someone outside of the situation who has no influence on it then this is simply a passive acknowledgement that you know you deserve better.

So what could you do about it?

If you desire something to be different to the way it currently is have the courage to take responsibility for it. The only way change is going to happen is for you to take ownership of the situation and take action to change it.

This doesn’t mean go at it with all guns blazing and blitz it in one fell swoop. Unless you’re a serious adrenaline junkie it’s likely you’ll need to work on changing things bit by bit otherwise you’ll be paralysed by fear and end up doing nothing.

Actions can be really small. If you keep taking small actions one day you’ll look back at all those little actions you’ve taken and realise that actually you’ve made HUGE progress from where you started!

Taking action requires some sort of motivation.

Imagine how you would feel if the situation changed to something more favourable. Close your eyes and really sink into that feeling, savour it. How good is that? Hold on to that feeling…

What small action could you take, today, to move you a tiny bit closer to that feeling?

Be brave and do that.

It might be drawing up a family rota for taking the rubbish out. It might be having a good think about how you could vary or change your role at work. It might be scheduling a date night with your partner where you can focus just on each other without any distractions.


It’s your life. You DO deserve better.

P.S. Change is easier if you’re in a more positive frame of mind to start with. My free ebook How To Set Up You HQ gives you five easy ways to feel happier. Get it here!