Letter to an unfulfilled woman
Yes, You. That woman underneath the myriad guises you wear for all the people in your life; those you care for, those who rely on you, those that think they know you.
That woman who might live life differently, if only…
I’ve noticed you pause in the space between breaths. I’ve caught that wistful look in your eye. I’ve sensed your yearning for more… homesickness for a home you’ve never lived in, furnished with fulfilment.
I have been you. I still am, sometimes.
You wonder how you ended up here, enveloped in expectation and responsibility. It was stealthy. You didn’t need to be coerced, you were a willing participant. It made you smile. It still does, often. And yet… and yet…
When it’s quiet, and the demands of the day have been met, a small voice whispers,
“What about me? I have more becoming to do… There are adventures out there I know nothing of as yet, today… but I can feel them, calling my tomorrow. I feel like there is a place for my presence there but I don’t know where There is nor how to weave it into my Here.”
Lack of fulfilment isn’t the absence of happiness. Happiness is a signpost to fulfilment but you need to follow the path and see where it leads.
Lack of fulfilment is the absence of magic.
It is feeling certain your life has more to enchant you with if only you knew what spell to cast. It is feeling slightly less than whole, like the apple with a bite taken out of it. It is feeling the wind on your back yet not knowing how to spread your wings and soar.
I know you’re proud of the sacrifices you’ve made because of the impact they’ve had on the people you love.
But I also know that you sometimes feel as if your spirit has been caged and you want the freedom to go after what’s missing… and that you carry the burden of guilt for feeling this way.
So many of us have been brought up to believe that thinking about ourselves and our own needs is selfish. Put other people first. Put yourself last. Everyone else’s needs are more important than your own.
I want you to know that your guilt is misplaced.
What could be more important than how you feel? How you feel matters. Really, it does. You know why? Because how you feel is so closely intertwined with how you act… and how you act affects everyone in your world.
Acknowledge how you feel.
What advice would you give a close friend who felt this way? Be that friend to yourself, listen… and act on that advice.
I want you to know that there is no shame in feeling a little resentment when you find yourself tangled in the shallows while the river of time rushes on to the next bend and beyond.
I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with wanting to craft a paddle to propel yourself back into the current.
You have as much right to float effortlessly downstream as anyone else.
You might have heard the phrase, “You can’t pour from an empty cup”.
The more you give to yourself, the more you have of yourself to give to others. Nourish your soul and you will rejuvenate. Nourish your spirit and your capacity for nurturing others will expand without leaving you feeling depleted. This is win-win. How can this possibly be selfish?
I urge you to have the courage to become more you.
A caterpillar instinctively knows when the time has come to build its chrysalis and become a butterfly.
Trust that your time as a caterpillar is over. Give yourself permission to emerge from your chrysalis and flex your beautiful wings.
Where you choose to fly is up to you. You might want to explore the world. You might be content to get a bird’s eye view of your own back yard.
It’s not about where you go.
It is simply giving yourself the freedom to fly.
If you’d like a gentle way to find more fulfilment that can be incorporated into your busy life, I have a free gift for you. In The Fulfilment Finder you’ll discover The 8 Keys to Fulfilment – simple steps you can take to feel happier and more satisfied. Ready to spread those wings? It’s right here. x